I had an epiphany last night. This post is directed solely to my 20 and 30 year olds. This is not to exclude others or to call others old. This post is to level set this age group to be grateful for this time in their life. I understand that we all had plans for our lives. There were certain things that were supposed to happen by xyz amount of time. You were supposed to be at the top of your career. You were supposed to be a homeowner and out of debt by now. You were supposed to be in a committed relationship. You were supposed to have your Doctorates by now. Many of you are still stuck in fear and have held yourself back from pursuing different avenues because of your age. My mother and aunt when back to school to obtain their associates and BSN, RN in their late 20’s and early 30’s.
I had my life planned out. By age 25 I was supposed to be married. My husband and I were going to spend two years just enjoying one another and traveling the world so by the time I was 27, we could settle down and start our family. I am now 28 and three years pass my goal. When I think of it, there is absolutely nothing I can do about it right now. I mean there is, I could always go out and settle and make my dream a reality. My way. My terms. However, I can already guess how that will end and I rather spear myself the devastation.
For me this blog is about a relationship but for you, it could be that thing that you want that has not happened yet. That thing, you feel has delayed itself and you feel time winding down. You could be married and still waiting on God for children. I want to encourage all of us, it is not too late.
This is too late...
As I chatted with a colleague last night, she shared she will be 50 in a few months. She stated she wanted to be married and she always thought she would have children. As I sat and talked with her, I heard the voice of God say “there is still time” and then my mind said “well at least you are not 50”. So many of us, especially as women after a certain age enters a race against our biological clock. Others of us are in a race against our picture perfect cookie cutter life. In that moment, the peace of God flooded me and laid out before me the age 50. He led me to think about how old I was now, 28 and how old my coworker is. Then instead of being ungrateful that it hasn’t happened yet, I began to be grateful that I still had “time”.
Again, many may not understand this blogpost. It may feel like a diss but if you are reading this and you pick that up, that is a personal issue. I am not saying my coworker is old. What I am saying is, we tend to look at where we are and think so much time has gone by and our minds will really have us thinking that we are knocking on 100. Time is definitely not waiting on anyone but if we think about it, we are in a much better place than many people in the world. TD Jakes already told us to devour in our 20s so we can eat in our 30s and 40s. Take this time to get financially secure and professionally advanced. Do a lot of self care and stop thinking it is almost over. Life is just now beginning for us. We are now in a place of a lot more wisdom. Many of us are now a lot more clear about life, where we are headed and where we want to go.
I really wanted to encourage you because I too have felt the weight of it’s too late. I have felt that weight of, if I don’t get married by 30, it’s the end all be all. I have felt like the window of time for the next best thing was closing in and once it did, that was the end of the world. Therefore, I completely understand. I want to let you know, we are all at different phases of life and you are not where someone else is. I know women who had babies well into their 30s, early 40s. I know women who got married in their 40s. I know women who are still not married today. I know women who still don’t have a degree and they are almost 70. You are in a much better place than many and I want you to be thankful for that. Your best life does not start when…IT STARTS NOW!! Appreciate this time and how old you are today. We can live in dread for 40 and 50, you can keep your mind in the next 10 years worrying about then and what has yet to happen. OR!! You can live for today and make preparation that in 10 years your life will look completely different that what it looks now.
Te’Aire Griffin, Founder/Visionary Restore Mon
P.S. Don’t forget to like Te'Aire Griffin on Facebook
P.S.S Also subscribe to my youtube channel