Are you the type of person that overthinks absolutely everything? I mean like overthinking the most simple things. Does everything have to deal with what, why, who, when, how and where? Does it always require rocket science?
I totally get it because overthinking was my kryptonite also. Talk about slowing you down or taking you 300,000hours to figure out or do one thing. Such a waste of time. The funny thing about that is, the most simple things took up the bulk of my time but when it came to major decisions, my next move was pretty hasty. For example, when I up and moved to Chicago, that required little to no thought. But then something small happens, please don’t let me had misinterpreted something because now I have built up a whole case against you. I know why you did it, why you went that way, why your mother had you, what your deepest thoughts are, etc etc. Am I the only one?
When I was seeing this one guy, he use to tease me for overthinking everything. He would say the simplest things to me and according to him, I took it too deep because that’s not even what he meant. We had a misunderstanding once because what I heard was not what he said, well whatever right lol Well excuse me for working the muscle which we call the brain. I was simply trying to keep it strong lol. Am I the only one? Well I can’t hear you respond so I will tell you about one woman who understands me, her name is Martha. She was just like me and she did her greatest overthinking in a very special relationship. I don’t know about Martha but I overthought a lot in relationships but I feel the place that overthinking affected us both the worst and stunted amazing encounters was in our relationship with God. We are a weird bunch of people.
You know Martha too or at least you should. Martha was the sister of Mary and Lazarus. Martha was an A-type personality and a great host to visitors in the family home. One day Jesus came to visit. Jesus was a very special guest, the Messiah, the King of kings, the son of God was coming to her house, so I understand why Martha was on 1000. Wouldn’t you be too? She was preparing the house, cleaning up and making dinner. When Jesus got there, she still had work to do. While Martha was being a busy body, the house was probably still. Then Martha peaked her head around the corner and saw everyone else enjoying themselves and sitting around the feet of Jesus. Martha felt if she had some help, she could get done faster and do what everybody else was doing. And out of everyone sitting at his feet, lo and behold was her sister, Mary.
Mary reminded me of the little sister that gets on your last nerve because while there was stuff to do, she was maxing and relaxing, chilling her life away. *Clears throat* Uh Mary can you come and help me? I feel like Mary was probably like most little sisters and she turned around, looked back and said you got it and then continued what she was doing. It was at this moment that Martha said, “IT’S ABOVE ME NOW”. So Martha does what any good big sister would do, she told. She said Jesus would you tell Mary to come and help me. And Jesus lovingly told Martha, that he would do no such thing because while Martha was doing all that, Mary had chosen the best part and it would not be taken away from her. (Luke 10:38-42, my rendition)
Mary did not have time to overthink and busy herself, when the guest of all guest had come to her front door. Martha was in the kitchen moving around like a chicken with her neck cut off, I got to do this, I got to do that, I got to get this done. Martha was overthinking because she was thinking about how to make Jesus comfortable. She was probably in the kitchen like what else can I do, she thought too much and too long which is the very definition of overthinking.
Like I said, I was just like that. When it came to me being in the presence of God, I had a lot of questions of how do I spend time with God? How do I read my bible? Where do I start? Should I sing first? God do you like this? Or should I do it like that? Do you even hear me? Am I doing this right? What else can I do? None of these questions led me to where I wanted to be in Him, they were more distracting than anything else.
All performance and all work based which is everything far from a relationship. I never felt fulfilled in the presence of God because it felt like I could do more. Then one day on the way to church, our Father told me, “Daughter, get out your head and get into my Spirit”. I knew exactly what he meant. He was telling me I was doing too much thinking about things that did not even matter. I spent more time trying to figure out how to spend time with God instead of just spending time with Him. When he said, get into my Spirit, he meant be led by the Spirit. He was telling me to get out of my feelings because this is not feelings based and know the truth. He was reminding me that he is looking for true worshippers who will worship him in Spirit and in truth (John 4:24). Only the Spirit of God knows how to get into the presence of God and he wants to be with us but instead of following we use our head knowledge; which is limited.
The Holy Spirit is trying to lead us and we are asking all these questions: is it going to hurt? What should I do? Should I do this first? Where are we going? Will I be safe? Shhhhh Just be still and know that he is God (Psalm 46:10). You trust him, right? If not, that is another blog for another day.
I realized that when I stopped asking questions and developed the heart of Mary, just to be glad that he was there, my relationship with God blossomed and grew tremendously. All those questions I once had were answered as I simply walked with the Holy Spirit. I am happy to say now, that I have found the better and I am glad that it will not be taken away from me. So sis or brother (thank you for reading sir) take a deep breath. It is not rocket science. Do not complicate God, he is so simple and all he wants is relationship and for us to relate to him. Get rid of all your preconceived thoughts and kill the expectations. Just simply enjoy the fact that the King of Glory wants to come in your house and just be your friend.
His Friend always,
Te’Aire Griffin, Founder/Visionary Restore Mon Amour
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