BlogMas DAY 2 | Who Can I Run too?


Listen 90's - 00's R&B is my kind of music. Every last one of those songs spoke to a deep place in my heart; they expressed the words my mouth could not form. There was a song for everything we went through.

Breakup: I'm not gone Cry by Mary J Blige

Comeback: Me by Tamia

A cheating man: I shoulda cheated by Keyshia Cole

Wedding Day: Meet me at the Altar by Jagged Edge

Got a lil crush: Crush on You by Lil Kim

When I was cheating: Creep by TLC

When he wasn't who he said he was: Round of Applause by Rihanna

Finding love: You by Jesse Powell

All bases in love was covered; from the best experiences to the absolute worst.

I remember singing those songs to my heart's content but one song of them all, left me with a burning question, Who Can I Run too? (Xscape). Who can I run too leads us to the question of who can I trust? I searched all over...couldn't find nobody (Vashawn Mitchell). I searched for love, security, peace and happiness in all the wrong places in the world and I continued to come up empty handed. Like my girl Shawni Ladawn (A No No) said "I need to be careful and watch my steps because I aint fell for a real one yet".

In my life, I have learned, people can liiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeee (please read that how I wrote it). People lie about any and everything. People are constantly changing their minds and being moody (I am not excluded, I am talking about me too). I want someone who is sure about me, someone who will say what they mean and mean what they say, at all times and always. I looked for that in relationships, friendships, business deals and day to day engagements. And I finally found it!

I found it and what I found has made me change my tune. What I have been searching for all my life has given me a new song. What I have found has cured every heartache and heartbreak. I found the one who would never let me down. I have found the one who will not fail me. I have found the one, I can run too and he will never let me go. The one who truly satisfies and who promises to stand right by me and never leave me nor forsake me.

Listen, I needed unconditional love because whenever I would do something wrong I was so afraid of people walking away. I was so afraid of losing people who were not capable of handling my exposure. When I made a mistake, I needed someone to get closer. I needed intimacy. I needed a safe place to run too when I wanted to xcape the world. Have you ever shown your hand and the person ghosts you? Who do you run too when you are empty? Who do you run to when you need love? Who do you run too when the enemy is flooding your mind with lies, so much that you are not able to think straight?

I have found the one who is a firm foundation. You won't believe where I found him...

I found him in me, I found him in his word, I found him in a song. I already knew this about him but the same thing we hear in a new season, brings life to an old word. I was listening to Excess Love Remix by JJ Hairston and Mercy Chinow and she said, "You're not a man, you'll never lie!!"

That thing hit me like a ton of bricks.

God cannot lie, even if he calls something what it's not, it's still the truth because that things becomes what he called it (Romans 4:17).

I have found the one and his name is God, Jesus, Yeshewa, Jehovah, my everything.

GOD CANNOT AND DOES NOT LIE HIS WORD IS TRUTH THE ENTIRE BIBLE IS TRUTH, ALL FACTS IF HE SAID HE CAN, DOES HE NOT PERFORM IT, CAN HE NOT DO IT (Numbers 23:19).

WHAT LIMITS GOD? WHO COUNSELS GOD? WHO WAS THERE WHEN HE CREATED EVERYTHING?

Is it not what he has said that is settled in heaven? (Psalm 119:89)

Lesson learned: After everyone that I ran too, after every song I sang and every relationship I found myself in...it was God himself that revealed he was a safe place. God revealed to me he could be trusted. When Moses said God show me your glory, God showed Moses his goodness and faithfulness and as I look back on 2019 this is one of the things I prayed to God for. I wanted to trust God beyond my fears, feelings and emotions. I learned in 2019, I could put ALL my trust in God and what he says. His word is better than money, better than gold, his word Grants us access, you can take it to the bank, his word is sure, it's a sure foundation.